Carla’s Drunk Reviews: Friends (The Pilot)

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Okay, not gonna lie, I’m a huge fan of Friends thanks to an old roommate (who I adore) named Joc, so I’m interested in how this will go!

Everyone laughs at how undateable Monica is which makes no sense because Courtney Cox is hot and there’s no way she’s ever really struggled with dating.

Ross comes in and he’s clearly very depressed, which is meant to be funny, but is just kind of awkward for everyone. It’s cause his ex-wife is a lesbian, but I already knew that.

Ross says he just wants to be married and in walks Rachel, which I knew, but everyone laughs, but I never got why because it really wasn’t that funny.

Anyway, we’re meant to feel sympathy for Rachel who just bailed on her fiancé the day of her wedding. I mean, I know that you shouldn’t get married if you don’t want to, but this is still a horrible thing to do.

Also, did anyone remember early Jen Aniston having that weird, high-pitched voice?

Rachel tries to explain to her father that she doesn’t want to marry him because she doesn’t love him then starts talking about purses and shoes and hats.

I can’t tell who I love more: Lisa Kudrow or Phoebe.

She’s so funny.

Also, does anyone remember Ross being this whingy?

Chandler is funny and now I remember that I like this series better when Monica and Chandler together.

Ross is weird when speaking to Rachel.

Phoebe’s asked if she wants to help attach furniture at Ross’ new place, but replies, ‘Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to’ which is my default setting for everything.

Paul the Wine Guy tells a ‘line’ to Monica, which I know because Joey says something about it being a line later, but I don’t know how it’s a ‘line’. It’s more of a ‘I’m a douchebag and need to say pathetic things in order to get laid because I’m too lame and desperate to get women any other way’ situation, but okay.

Ross says if he doesn’t know if he’s hungry and horny, and I am both, but I would love hokey pokey ice cream from Baskin and Robbin’s because it’s my favourite.

However, if this Paul the Wine Guy is using a line, I don’t get how Monica or anyone else falls for it. Like, I’d be like, ‘Sure, cool’, but it wouldn’t speed up my desire to want to get laid or anything. I either want to get laid or I don’t.

Rachel makes disgusting coffee.

I love Chandler.

Also, what does Chandler do? Like, is he like Barney and you never really know? Cause I can’t really remember.

Like Monica is a chef, Joey is a terrible actor, Phoebe is Phoebe, and Ross likes dinosaurs.

But what does Chandler do!?

Apparently people can tell when you’ve had sex in conversation which is not true and I’m not going to explain how and why I know this because I’m guessing it’s the same reason you also possess this knowledge and why you’re so supremely grateful people can’t actually tell sometimes.

We’ve all had close calls. I mean, the amount of people who have walked in on me naked is more than I’d like, and that’s just being naked.

Rachel buys boots, which causes everyone to get her to cut up her cards, and I get the idea of getting Rachel to live a different lifestyle, but unless they’re cool with supporting her, do not fucking cut up all her cards. This woman obviously has no real-life experience, and she may need money in an emergency (which actually becomes a plot point at some point with George Clooney and the guy from Road Trip in it). Like, this is just plain stupid, but because we all live in a sitcom everything is just gonna be fine and dandy.

Ross confesses to Rachel that he used to have a crush on her in high school, which she knows, but he expresses the desire to want to get to know her better in the future and Rachel agrees.

Ross is super excited about this but doesn’t act on it and I’m making this a point because Ross is Nice Guy.

The ending shows Rachel working at the Café as a waitress.

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