Carla’s Sometimes Sober Drunk Reviews: The Red Carpet Diaries, Book 1, Ep 1

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So I decided I’d recap different Choices books, chapter by chapter. I’m going to start with Red Carpet Diaries, Book One, cause I’ve played it before and it’s not shit. Like the title suggests, sometimes I’ll be sober, sometimes I’ll be not sober. It’s a mix!

Okay, so like, straight up, when you download Choices (if you want to) you’ll get a bunch of diamonds and you’ll get a diamond (+1) for every chapter of every book you finish, as well as each video ad you watch (after the end of each chapter – though you can opt-out if you want to). You can spend money to buy more diamonds and keys and shit, though, but for most of this, I actually didn’t use diamonds. As I’ve grown more fond of Choices, I know am far less frugal with my spending diamonds.

So, you started RCD, and you get to choose your look. You only get to choose a female (or a person that bears a female appearance) in this one, but in some books you get to choose your gender. I’m saying it straight up cause I know some people love choosing their gender.

Anyway, so here’s my chick, and her name’s Elodie:

Anyway, you have a dream about being mega-famous but it’s just a dream and you’re poor and struggling, but we all know that it won’t last because otherwise, it’d be a shit game.

Anyway, because you woke up poor, you have to reselect your outfit. This will be your pretty standard outfit for the game.

Poor Elodie

You then say some pretty standard ‘I’m in Hollywood’ (no fuck, where the else did you think you were, mate?) stuff before you’re introduced to Chazz, who is very immediately stereotypically gay.

When you’re talking to Chazz, you get to decide what you’re hoping most to find coming to Hollywood. The correct answer to prove you’re not a shit person is ‘love’. ‘Fame’ seems pretty fucking obvi and ‘money’ seems bloody callous.

The two say a bunch of shit I just don’t give a shit about.

Anyway, Chazz takes us to what he says is his house, but clearly definitely isn’t, but Elodie thinks it is because … well, plot.

We then meet a famous actor, Matt Rodriguez, who’s most definitely going to be our LI but should be a huge bloody clue to Elodie that no, this is not your freaking high school friend’s house.

Of course, this is immediately revealed a little while later when John Castle, Chazz’s boss, is being a dick because, you know, plot. When your main character is this dense, I guess, you really, really need plot. And then you need to get mad at your best friend because his lie – that lasted literally five minutes – was … I dunno?? Not real, I guess? Maybe they need to show your character has emotion. Who cares; you guys make up.

But seriously, Elodie, if this is like ‘one last chance’ business, why is this dude your best friend???? And agent? That just seems beyond unintelligent.

When you get to your real place, you’ll meet a woman named Gloria who seems bonkers as fuck, and you’d be right, but she’s also right. If you pay attention to the stuff she says, it can sometimes help guide you throughout the story. (First time I played, I dismissed the bird outright.) You’ll also meet Seth, another male LI, here. He’s your hot bisexual neighbour. (The bisexual part’s important cause it comes up a lot and the character of Seth seems to care about his label, which is why it’s placed there. Almost all characters and Lis are bisexual, as a heads, but some are more like ‘Mmmm okay’ and others are more the every single stereotype you could imagine. Seth isn’t the stereotype, but he – and another character named Zig, who starts appearing in the third book of The Freshman – often pronounce their bisexual pride, so I think it’s appropriate to honour that instead of try and erase it.)

The racoon that is in your room for no other reason than to create a cute meet-cute (ha) is named Rocket, which is a direct reference to Guardians of the Galaxy for the three people who have never seen that movie, but which I think is a direct insult to trash-panda rabbit.

This is your first diamond scene. Depending on what you want to do, depends on whether or not you might find diamond scenes useful. I like to be a slut in these games (live vicariously), so apparently I already picked the go-with-Seth option so I’ll do that one, too. (If it’s outside a mystery, it usually means I’m hoping to get laid at some point. And, oh, shut up, it’s a game.)

Anyway, if you go up to the roof with Seth, you mostly whinge because you live in an apartment in Hollywood as a nobody and if my character was literally not white, this might make sense.

Okay, so the next day, Elodie gets an invitation to Famous Matt’s birthday which does not seem even remotely believable and is honestly the type of shit Hallmark would cook up, but okay.

Anyway, that’s the end of Book One, Chapter One of Red Carpet Diaries. Tune in for Elodie’s adventures for Chapter 2!

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