— Trigger and Content Warning —
Like with the “Friendship Breakup” series, over the next few weeks, I’ll be answering commonly asked questions surrounding, specifically, Dr Ford and the entire fiasco that we just watched.
As this topic is of a sensitive nature, and many of you may have questions or stories you’d like to share or have answered, please feel free to drop a message in my Facebook inbox or DM me on my Instagram, @thingscarlaloves. You do not have to share your story in the comment section (or anywhere else) if you do not feel comfortable.
As always, there will be a list of helpline services added, if you need help. I strongly urge that you confide in someone you trust in order to help you heal.
Recently, Sunrise – a national disaster of a morning show in Australia – had Bettina Arndt on their show to discuss how men were afraid of being publicly accused of rape or sexual assault that they’d never committed because we’re apparently now living during the Salem Witch Trials where people don’t get proper trials and are forced to confess things via torture that aren’t, and were never, true.
The worst part of this insult isn’t that the hashtag that was used to infamously take down Harvey Weinstein and for women, in particular, to share support among each other, that’s now been taken over by people to complain about men’s feelings, but that it is only talking about men’s feelings, and not the fact that men get raped.
They’re concerned about false rape charges, but not the emotional traumatic stress that’s inflicted on a person after they’ve been sexually assaulted and/or raped.
I plan to write an article focusing on the underreporting of male rape; however, I don’t want to take away from the fact that the #MenToo idea is bullshit and why, and I don’t want to take away from male victims of sexual assault, because they deserve better recognition. However, I truly recommend watching Terry Crews’ statement and recollection of how it felt to be sexually assaulted.
So why is #MenToo detrimental to just about everyone?
Well, this one’s pretty easy. Firstly, it’s designed to undercut from the #MeToo movement, and therefore reduce the credibility of claims made by victims – as if they weren’t already aware of the amount of disbelief and the amount of people who literally don’t have an ounce of empathy to consider what rape or sexual assault must be like, what it must do to a person.
The people who are writing #MenToo and talking about the lives of men affected to accusations know that there’s no real harm that comes to men’s careers. They know that false rape accusations haven’t gone up. They know that false rape accusations are the lowest recorded for all crimes.
But they do it because they hope you don’t know it.
They spread it because they hope you’re ignorant enough to believe it, to not check out the actual facts, or to believe their so-called facts that come from someone’s Facebook post.
Secondly, this means that the #MenToo movement is designed to maliciously attack victims of rape, not to support men who have been falsely accused (which isn’t currently a thing).
Did you know that cancer affects 1 in 2 people?
Sometimes it’s small, when they refer to cancer, like skin cancer that only requires to be burnt off, and hasn’t turned into anything more sinister, but chances are, you know someone who’s died from cancer. Maybe they weren’t your best friend or lover, but you would know someone.
If someone in your life currently has cancer – any kind of cancer – do you get mad when they don’t talk about all the other types of cancer there is? Say your friend has stomach cancer, which isn’t good, and they want to do A Girls Night In (like Gina did in Real Housewives), do you complain that it’s not fair, because there’s also pancreatic cancer?
Or do you just shut the fuck up, because it’s cancer?
I’m willing to bet it’s most likely the latter, because hopefully you aren’t that much of an asshole.
So why are you so willing to let people degrade those that you love?
Why are you so willing to degrade victims?
Because every time you share #MenToo, that’s what you’re doing. You aren’t even trying to protest for men’s rights, or for male sexual assault victims.
You’re just protesting women’s right to speak and putting a fancy bow on it to convince yourself that that’s not what you’re doing.
Except it is.
In Emergencies: 000
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14
MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78
— Sources —
Bachelor of Education: English and History
Diploma in Criminology and Profiling
Diploma in Forensic Science
Background in law and psychology
Teacher 7+ years
Background in special needs, learning support – other specific teaching fields that required hands-on development.
NB: This is a declaration of the background of my personal knowledge, collected over the years via a professional form of education and development. Some of these take the form of actual degrees and others come in the form of necessary professional development. When doing your own research, you should always try and verify the person’s credibility. My credibility, nor anyone else’s, is not with their education. Everyone has biases and no one is infallible. I am deliberately including some of my background education to highlight this, because you should be questioning information you are receiving.