Shut Up and Hold My Fucking Margarita (Answering Questions You Wish No One Had Ever Asked): Cassidy Boon

Okay, so people post some stuff that I just want to scream, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’ 

So I’ve decided to create “Shut Up and Hold My Fucking Margarita” questions to abolish some ignorant-as-fuck myths that people seem to earnestly believe because they’ve obviously never heard of Google before, let alone fucking Snopes.

If you see something that makes you think, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’, please post it below and let me know, so I can tag you/your blog with the recommendation! 

Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief that I have created by all the drinking posts, I actually don’t drink very much or very often. These posts are written sober, so any inaccuracies are legit inaccuracies, so please do point them out. The margarita pictured was taken on a Christmas holiday with my family while we were out at the Fed in Maryborough, which is a great pub. Cheers to the Fed making my margarita just tequila, lime and ice, when I got pissy about the idea there was going to be lemonade in it and then everyone was like … ‘So what you want is just a lot of tequila?’ Like, shit yeah. My uncle was racist and sexist as fuck, I just needed someone to leave the bottle that year.

You know, I know that people believe a lot of incredulous things.

I mean, we’re able to go to the moon, and people somehow still manage to earnestly believe that the earth is flat and that Australia is a lie (as an Australian, the Flat-Earthers are telling you the truth, I’m definitely a paid actor keeping up the hoax).

Hell, you don’t even have to go that far.

Look at all the wankers who voted for Trump and the shit they believe every day.

Not gonna lie, America, it’s not been easy watching you turn into a dictatorship.

However, despite the fact that every day, someone says or does something that makes me go, ‘Seriously!? Are you fucking kidding me!?’ (more so since Trump’s election), sometimes people post something or think something or believe something that just makes me want to put my head through a wall because I’m deeply concerned for the rest of humanity. (The sad irony is that I wrote this post before I fell down the stairs and my head literally went through a wall.)

Anyway, you’ve probably seen this image, or at least headline, somewhere:

PC: Snopes

And yeah, it didn’t happen.

Cassidy Boon isn’t even a real person – at least, not this Cassidy Boon.

No one wants to sue men for touching them when being saved.

Literally no one.

The only reason why people want you to think that is so that you buy into their agenda – that feminism is cancer, or that the #metoo movement is really about destroying men (fucking Sunrise), and all that does is continue to take away from the actual problems that feminism is trying to help.

Including, you know, protecting men from rape. 

However, every time you share this – whether you’re a cunt and you want people to have a distorted view of feminists so you don’t have to admit that maybe, just maybe, things aren’t quite as equal as you want everyone to believe, or because you believed it because someone told you to, and took advantage of the fact that you’d take something like this on face value – you’re also:

1. Taking away from all victims, including men.

2. Making it about men’s feelings, instead of focusing on women getting raped.

3. Missing the fact that this post literally came from an article that literally stated it was satire, so every single person that deliberately shared it, was hoping you wouldn’t check it out. And if you believed it, you fell for their shit. 

4. Making it harder for people – particularly women – to report rape, because not only is that a traumatic experience, but most rapists will not even go to trial, let alone receive jail time.

Image result for sexual assault infographics australia

PC: University of Victoria 

5. That feminists would want this. No we fucking don’t. Why don’t you fucking ask a feminist? Because anyone with common sense would immediately go, “If that’s for real, I think that person might have a mental disorder, because that’s not rational” (I don’t mean that as an insult; my first reaction would be to wonder if the person genuinely was suffering from a mental disorder of some kind, and the media had taken advantage of that fact, like the media often does. Here’s looking at you Sunrise, you fucking disgrace.)

6. It also makes it harder for people to come forward, in general. And you wonder what the big deal is about Dr Ford and Trump and all that shit? Jesus fucking Christ.

So please, stop sharing this kind of crap.

Seriously, it either makes you like an uneducated wanker, or it tells everyone you’re a terrible human that no one should be around.

Most people don’t want to be the former, and the latter won’t give a shit, because they’re terrible human beings no one wants to be around.

So, FFS, use a reverse Google-image search. Check out Snopes. Or listen when someone can provide actual evidence as to why something is incorrect.

And if in doubt, please use CARS.

CARS Referencing System:

Credibility

Is the claim credible? Is the author writing biased? Is the author credible? An elite education doesn’t make someone more or less credible, so you often have to look beyond a person’s education background. 

Accuracy

Do the claims fit in to an accurate timeline? Do the claims made by the author reasonably stand up? If you’re seeing a lot of inaccuracies, especially against the timeline the person is creating, you need to consider if the claim is accurate. Context is often key.

Reasonableness

Mostly, this comes down to whether or not the person is clearly creating a bias. Obviously, everyone has biases. I try and declare mine at the bottom of every post that I think would benefit from extra sources. I freely admit that I definitely have biases, prejudices and will obviously write in a way that conveys what I believe is the truth. That doesn’t mean I’m always right – which is why reasonableness is so important. Everyone is biased, and it’s virtually impossible to not impose your belief, in some form, while sharing. But if the person is deliberately manipulating facts, or omitting information, then they are an untrustworthy source (here’s looking at you, Fox).

Support

Basically, this comes down to whether or not you can find “support” for the claims made. In anything professional, like an essay or journal article, references are essential. However, information can come from popular media sites, or from TV shows/movies, that might require YOU to do some work. I know that conservatives, in particular, seem to detest this as they seem to believe that the other person needs to do all the work, but that’s not how you actually learn. You learn by taking the information and researching it yourself. If you refuse to do this, which is an important part of the process, you will never truly progress in your own education. Out of everything here, I honestly believe this is the most important. If you are unwilling to research things on your own, and instead demand someone else to do the work for you, you have no interest in learning or understanding a different position. You are looking for confirmation bias. The reason I know the Cassidy Boon thing is a hoax is because I looked it up. It took less than a second on my internet connection for Google to say “Yeah, this shit is a fucking hoax”, and by then, I had seen at least ten people share this fucking thing on fucking Facebook, which means the only difference is that you’re willing to put your intelligence in someone else’s hands, instead of learning for yourself.

So do us all a favour in 2019, use your mouse, and perform a reverse Google image search. Or start using Snopes.

Just stop using ignorance as a defence.

Or shut up and hold my fucking margarita.

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7 thoughts on “Shut Up and Hold My Fucking Margarita (Answering Questions You Wish No One Had Ever Asked): Cassidy Boon

  1. Ariel Lynn says:

    No one wants to sue men for touching them when being saved.

    Literally no one.

    Actually, I’ve heard of cases where a person sued someone for breaking her ribs when performing the Heimlich maneuver. She lost, big time, but it has happened. 😦

    CPRCertified.com warns that a person can sue for proper & improper CPR or other life-saving attempt. Luckily, in the U.S., there’s a law called The Good Samaritan law that protects people who try to help, but.. yeah, it literally has happened.

    Obviously not in the case of that headline’s stupidity, but, yeah. When ya say it can’t be done (or, really, “shouldn’t” be done), America does it. 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

    • thingscarlaloves says:

      Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, people in the states seem to want to sue everyone and everything. It’s not that easy to sue people (in general) in Australia.

      Was the case like the McDonald’s coffee one, where the coffee was actually ridicuously hot and all the old woman wanted was Maccas to pay for her hospital bills? Or is it some dumbass?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        Oh yeah, I completely agree! The States are very litigious. It said as much in the CPRCertified.com article! While some people might try to sue a person for performing the Heimlich maneuver (when performed correctly, it’s very possible to break ribs), it’s unlikely they’d win – you can sue people for almost anything in the U.S.; it doesn’t mean you have a legitimate case!

        It’s funny, I totally misread your comment at first & thought you (like many ignorant people) thought the McDonald’s case was an illegitimate case. I think it’s funny because we were talking in another comment section about how you accidentally misread something I wrote, which we wrote off due to your head injury. WHAT’S MY EXCUSE?! LMAO 🤣

        The case of someone suing over the Heimlich was, I believe, a televised small claims case. So, it was “reality TV,” meaning it deserves to be viewed skeptically, of course. She did get some broken ribs, thought that the guy (who had some first responder training, I think, but it had lapsed) should be held accountable, but she got nothing. In fact, if I remember correctly, the Judge gave her a good talking to about gratitude!

        Like

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        Clearly, in the 2nd paragraph, I’m not saying I thought you were ignorant. I’m saying the people who think the woman’s lawsuit against McDonald’s was frivolous are ignorant.

        I know you wouldn’t misread that comment, but I prefer clarity over potential confusion – especially with awesome people. 😉

        Like

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