Shut Up And Hold My Fucking Margarita (Answering Questions You Wish No One Had Ever Asked): Australia Day

Okay, so people post some stuff that I just want to scream, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’ 

So I’ve decided to create “Shut Up and Hold My Fucking Margarita” questions to abolish some ignorant-as-fuck myths that people seem to earnestly believe because they’ve obviously never heard of Google before, let alone fucking Snopes.

If you see something that makes you think, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’, please post it below and let me know, so I can tag you/your blog with the recommendation! 

DISCLAIMER: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF THAT I HAVE CREATED BY ALL THE DRINKING POSTS, I ACTUALLY DON’T DRINK VERY MUCH OR VERY OFTEN. THESE POSTS ARE WRITTEN SOBER, SO ANY INACCURACIES ARE LEGIT INACCURACIES, SO PLEASE DO POINT THEM OUT. THE MARGARITA PICTURED WAS TAKEN ON A CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY WITH MY FAMILY WHILE WE WERE OUT AT THE FED IN MARYBOROUGH, WHICH IS A GREAT PUB. CHEERS TO THE FED MAKING MY MARGARITA JUST TEQUILA, LIME AND ICE, WHEN I GOT PISSY ABOUT THE IDEA THERE WAS GOING TO BE LEMONADE IN IT AND THEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE … ‘SO WHAT YOU WANT IS JUST A LOT OF TEQUILA?’ LIKE, SHIT YEAH. MY UNCLE WAS RACIST AND SEXIST AS FUCK, I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE TO LEAVE THE BOTTLE THAT YEAR.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Discretion Advised: This post contains video and images of Rabbit Proof Fence, which may contain images of deceased persons. Post continues after the embedded trailer.

I’m putting Shut Up and Hold My Margarita on Saturday – switching it with I’m A 90’s Bitch – because Saturday, the 26th, is Australia Day.

And there are a lot of fucking people who need to shut the fuck up on Australia Day.

Firstly, there’s a lot of contention surrounding Australia Day, which I will get to.

But firstly, if you’re not Aboriginal, just shut the fuck up.

The only thing that really matters about Australia Day comes from Aboriginal people. That’s it. If you’re white, I don’t give a damn how long you’ve lived in this country, you’re not Aboriginal, so do everyone a favour and fuck the fuck off.

Image result for aboriginal facts

Face the facts. Discrimination and racism is flourishing. PC: Human Rights

When I did two years of Aboriginal studies at uni, I learnt two important things: Some Aboriginal people really want the date changed because of what it means to them, in regards to everything they’ve lost. Before you go on about ‘moving forward’, let me remind you we didn’t allow Aboriginal people to be, you know, citizens of this fucking country until the late 60s.

We were still in the habit of stealing Aboriginal kids until just before then, too. People who are not Australian – Rabbit Proof Fence is a pretty good true story of a group of siblings trying to escape after they’ve been stolen, and it extensively goes into the purpose (to eliminate Aboriginal people) as well as how the government divided up Aboriginal people in a caste system. It’s not an easy movie to watch, so you should know that in advance.

I know that it’s been long enough for most of the world to forget that time when we thought Nazis and genocide were a bad thing, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t people alive who remember just how bad it was.

Kind of like how there’s still Aboriginal people who haven’t been reunited with their families, because The Stolen Generation still exists – white people just pretend it doesn’t.

Some of the Aboriginal leaders in the classes I took liked Australia Day, but often chose to celebrate it differently, mourning the loss of everything.

As people are complicated, I’m willing to bet a lot of Aboriginal people feel certain things about Australia Day – including thinking no more than ‘what a fucking great weekend!’ like most of Australia does.

The only way we can know what Aboriginal people, as a collective, think and feel, is to ask them.

In a referendum.

Designed only for Aboriginal people.

Let me explain.

For the first half of my life, I lived on a farm. (Other than dogs and chickens, I don’t think we ever had any farm animals. I remember cows, when I was really young, but they probably won’t ours. My parents hate people.)

When I was halfway through high school, we moved into town, on another property (13 acres. Like only a few kms from the CBD, but like I said, my parents hate people).

My parents’ new property overlooks the Mary River perfectly.

Seriously, before the great flood of 2012 (there’s been so many, but this one was pretty big), my parents even had a jetty. See:

Image may contain: one or more people, people standing and outdoor

My formal. Not a fucking prom, you Americans. Also, before the flood.

Anyway, around the time I was graduating from high school and moving to Brisbane for uni, Brisbane was in a huge fucking drought (welcome to Australia).

I know that I digress a lot, and that often you guys like it because it usually ends with me ranting and calling for more French revolutions, but this isn’t one of those times.

Around that time, Labour (kind of like Democrats for Americans) was buying a lot of land in Gympie, which is about an hour’s drive from Maryborough. (It also has Beefy’s pies there, in case you want a pie. Beefy’s is really good. I don’t like pies, or even meat that much, but it never matters when it’s Beefy’s. Fuck, I should be an ambassador for sales for them or some shit.)

The plan was to dam the Mary River, so Brisbane residents could have more water – regardless of how many people would be displaced, and regardless of the fact that so many environmentalists were like ‘Hey, you know, we should probably check out if there’s any endangered species or shit you could be affecting’ (which is why the damming never happened, despite Labour trying to force it to happen, because those pesky little environmentalists were right).

Anyway, I’ve mentioned more than once that my parents raised me to question everything, including the news.

If you ever wonder why I’m so stubborn and opinionated, it’s because my parents raised me to be that way. To be fair, I don’t think they expected to be this stubborn or this opinionated, but it happened.

Anyway, as a result, politics have always been a pretty big dinner table conversation in my family (I’ve never understood people who are like “Don’t talk politics, religion or money”, because what the fuck are you talking about if you aren’t talking about shit that is actually important?), and we were discussing the plan for the dam, and my dad was pissed.

He then made an incredibly poignant statement, which will make all of this make a lot of fucking sense in just a moment.

He told me that if it was a proper democracy, the only people that should be voting in regards to the dam should be those that would be directly impacted by the dam, the people who would be losing their farms and livelihoods, not the people of Brisbane, who would get all the advantages and none of the disadvantages. He said it wasn’t real democracy if Brisbane was included in the vote, because of course they were going to say yes to water, because they didn’t have to consider any of the actual consequences because they wouldn’t be impacted by them.

Of course, because the vote in regards to the dam included the residents of Brisbane, Labour was able to successfully say that “the people wanted the dam”, because there’s about two million people more in Brisbane than in Gympie, so the statement that “the people wanted the dam” wasn’t exactly accurate.

My dad explained that the only way real democracy could be achieved, and the only vote that should have mattered, had nothing to do with Brisbane. Fortunately, like I said, the dam never happened.

We talk about democracy all the time. It’s so fucking important – just look at how easily, how quickly, America is losing theirs. Every single day Trump is in power, you are losing more and more democracy.

Democracy is an incredibly fragile thing.

Which is why this whole Australia Day shit will never be properly resolved until we do something democratically so that we can see what Aboriginal people actually want.

And the only way to do that is to hold a referendum, where only people who are Aboriginal get to vote.

That way, Aboriginal people get to democratically decide whether or not Australia Day should remain on the 26th of January or not.

After that, we can decide whether or not Australia Day should be changed to something else, to commemorate the actual loss of life, racism and discrimination Aboriginal people have fought against since the moment we decided to invade in 1776.

Personally, I’ve always thought changing Australia Day to something that commemorates Aboriginal people and their culture, but keeping the holiday and date the same, would mean something; and then, to create a different date for a new Australia Day could be more than just symbolic – it could show the progression of our country, the way we’re opening up, listening, willing to move forward, willing to understand the discrimination and racism Aboriginal people still face daily.

But I’m not Aboriginal, and this isn’t something any white person should get to decide.

So how about this year, most of Australia shuts up and holds all their margaritas and beers and stop making this shit about you and your white feelings that are tied up in your white privilege and white guilt.

It’s about Aboriginal people, and if you were really a true-blue Aussie, no one would need to explain that to you.

So how about this year we start championing democracy, and start trying to get our government to know why it’s an important part of progress and unification – which is what Australia Day is meant to be about, but can’t ever be, when we’re ignoring the people who are still suffering as a result.

And I think asking for a democratic process to respect and accept what the majority of Aboriginal people actually want, instead of white people continuing to dominate the conversation, we might have a better, brighter, more progressive, and hopefully less racist, future.

CARS REFERENCING SYSTEM:

Credibility

Is the claim credible? Is the author writing biased? Is the author credible? An elite education doesn’t make someone more or less credible, so you often have to look beyond a person’s education background. 

Accuracy

Do the claims fit in to an accurate timeline? Do the claims made by the author reasonably stand up? If you’re seeing a lot of inaccuracies, especially against the timeline the person is creating, you need to consider if the claim is accurate. Context is often key.

Reasonableness

Mostly, this comes down to whether or not the person is clearly creating a bias. Obviously, everyone has biases. I try and declare mine at the bottom of every post that I think would benefit from extra sources. I freely admit that I definitely have biases, prejudices and will obviously write in a way that conveys what I believe is the truth. That doesn’t mean I’m always right – which is why reasonableness is so important. Everyone is biased, and it’s virtually impossible to not impose your belief, in some form, while sharing. But if the person is deliberately manipulating facts, or omitting information, then they are an untrustworthy source (here’s looking at you, Fox).

Support

Basically, this comes down to whether or not you can find “support” for the claims made. In anything professional, like an essay or journal article, references are essential. However, information can come from popular media sites, or from TV shows/movies, that might require YOU to do some work. I know that conservatives, in particular, seem to detest this as they seem to believe that the other person needs to do all the work, but that’s not how you actually learn. You learn by taking the information and researching it yourself. If you refuse to do this, which is an important part of the process, you will never truly progress in your own education. Out of everything here, I honestly believe this is the most important. If you are unwilling to research things on your own, and instead demand someone else to do the work for you, you have no interest in learning or understanding a different position. You are looking for confirmation bias. 

So do us all a favour in 2019, use your mouse, and perform a reverse Google image search. Or start using Snopes.

Just stop using ignorance as a defence.

Or shut up and hold my fucking margarita.

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