In relation to yesterday’s ranty post, this picture was also posted in response to my comment (reason? I’m not sure. A lot of things were posted in response to my comment about feminism. If you missed yesterday’s post, you can find it here: She’s A Bitch).
This picture, in particular, really bugged me. In fact, it infuriated me. I didn’t respond to the commenter because, well, trolls. And I figured he’d be too obtuse to get it … and I’d be giving him the exact reaction he wanted.
To me, this picture’s comment does have a point – one that I’ve mentioned many times before – that men can be sexually assaulted.
However, let’s be fair and realistic; it’s not that common for a woman to get a man drunk (and/or spike his drink) with the sole intention of raping him. Even if Josie did really want to have sex with Jake, she doesn’t look strong enough to carry him out of the bar – so Josie’s going to have to get Jake drunk at her place or his, which is a lot of carry out (and an unlikely situation). It’s also likely that certain … male parts … won’t work, if he’s too drunk (unless she’s also spiking him with Viagra, and then we really need to be concerned about Josie. She sounds like a psychopath). My point, more simply, is that women are less likely to commit this specific act. (I imagine women would use men’s masculinity against them, as opposed to outright drugging them, manipulating them and coercing them into sexual acts that they might not otherwise consent to, or even want to consent to.)
Men, on the other hand, commit this crime regularly. Men often have the intention of going out to bars to “pick up women”. I know it’s not all men. I know a lot of men have standards, or think certain things about sex, but let’s face it – stereotypically, it’s often more of a man’s agenda than a woman’s. That doesn’t mean a woman doesn’t want casual sex, or can’t go after casual sex, but sex shaming is a big deal to women – you know, men are heroes and women are sluts?
And what’s worse is that movies like American Pie really perpetuate the myth that it’s a great idea to get a girl really drunk so she’ll say yes. She’ll regret it in the morning, but you got laid dude! Nothing else matters!
And this idea is extremely important to abolish because, like the actual poster says, it is rape if the woman (or man) is too intoxicated to fully consent. It’s important to abolish this idea, and not make it a joke about “equality” and “feminism” and those damn “feminazis” because some young men could genuinely ruin their lives if they are not aware of the truth: if a woman is too intoxicated, you could potentially be raping her. Please believe me – some young men do believe it’s okay to have sex with drunk chicks – I’ve taught young men who’ve asked me if it’s okay, and been genuinely shocked when I’ve said no, the woman can turn around and say it’s rape. I’m not saying she will, even if she does regret her decision, but she can, and it’s fully within her legal rights (at least in Australia, and I don’t think Australia’s the only country where this is the case).
Also, regretting your decision is not the same as rape. If you wake up regretting who you’ve slept with, you cannot then decide it’s rape. What I am specifically referring to is not “drunk sex”; I’m talking about when a person is too drunk to be making any decisions that don’t involve drinking water and sleeping it off. You cannot try and use this law, and the creation of better consent legislation and understanding, because of life choices you come to regret.
The issue isn’t about men vs women. It isn’t about equality. It’s about making sure men don’t buy into the American Pie theory that getting women drunk is the best way to get laid.
It’s also about understanding that one in five women have been sexually assaulted. That means, chances are, if ten women are reading this blog today, at least two of them (statistically) have likely faced this – and someone’s making a joke out of it. It’s about understanding the fact that women are frequent and likely targets for drink-spiking – and some men often like to take advantage of that (or are the direct cause of it).
And now some wanker thinks he’s smart for pulling the “Oh, but you wanted equality” card is making light of not only a serious issue, but any woman who’s been in this situation – where her drink’s been spiked, she’s been too drunk, and some guy has tried to (or successfully) taken advantage of her.
Equality is not something to be ashamed for wanting. Feminists should not have to be shamed for wanting equal rights – for everyone – and no one should have to write a fucking blog post explaining why you’re a dickhead for screaming “EQUALITY!” when trying to press upon young men what consent actually is.
But good for you, whoever originally created that (and the tossers that keep posting it around). I hope you’re really fucking proud of making women who have been raped feel like it’s an equality thing because the same thing might happen to a man, despite being well aware that Australia has a violence against women issue.
In Emergencies: 000
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14
MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78
— Sources —
Bachelor of Education: English and History
Diploma in Criminology and Profiling
Diploma in Forensic Science
Background in law and psychology
Teacher 7+ years
Background in special needs, learning support – other specific teaching fields that required hands-on development.
NB: This is a declaration of the background of my personal knowledge, collected over the years via a professional form of education and development. Some of these take the form of actual degrees and others come in the form of necessary professional development. When doing your own research, you should always try and verify the person’s credibility. My credibility, nor anyone else’s, is not with their education. Everyone has biases and no one is infallible. I am deliberately including some of my background education to highlight this, because you should be questioning the information you are receiving.